只有十句話，我卻看了十分鐘
看完這十句話，我不知道自己發呆了多久，只知道自己想起了遠方的朋友，想念無限…….
只有十句話，我卻看了十分鐘
第一句
如果我們之間有1000步的距離
你只要跨出第1步
我就會朝你的方向走其餘的999步
第二句
通常願意留下來跟你争吵的人
才是真正愛你的人
第三句
付出真心 才會得到真心
却也可能傷得徹底
保持距離 就能保護自己
却也注定永遠寂寞
第四句
有時候不是對方不在乎你
而是你把對方看得太重
第五句
朋友就是把你看透了 還能喜歡你的人
第六句
就算是believe 中間也藏了一個lie
第七句
真正的好朋友
並不是在一起就有聊不完的話题
而是在一起 就算不說話
也不會感到尷尬
第八句
没有一百分的另一半
只有五十分的兩個人
第九句
為你的難過而快樂的 是敵人
為你的快樂而快樂的 是朋友
為你的難過而難過的
就是那些 該放進心裡的人
第十句
冷漠 有時候並不是無情
只是一種避免被傷害的工具
這十句話很有深度，很有意思。認真去思考，你會得到意想不到的收穫。
Thursday, January 7, 2010
10句值得深思的话
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
The Breakup?
Boy: Baby, we need to talk.
Girl: Ricardo, what do u mean?
Boy: Something has come up...
Girl: What? What's wrong? Is it bad?
Boy: I don't want to hurt you, baby.
Girl: *Thinks* Oh my God, I hope he doesnt break up with me... I love him so much.
Boy: Baby, are you there??
Girl: Yeah, I'm here. What is so important??
Boy: I'm not sure if I should say it..
Girl: Well, you already brought it up, so please just tell me.
Boy: I'm leaving...
Girl: Baby, what are u talking about?? I don't want you to leave me, I love you.
Boy: Not like that, I mean I'm moving far away.
Girl: Why? All of your famliy lives over here.
Boy: Well, my father is sending me away to a boarding school far away.
Girl: I can't believe this.
[FATHER: (Picks up the other phone, interrupts & yells furiously
ERICA!, what did I tell you about talking to boys?!!!... Get off the
damn phone!! (And hangs up).]
Boy: Wow, your father sounds really mad.
Girl: You know how he gets, but anyways, I dont want you to go.
Boy: Would you run away with me?
Girl: Baby, you know I would, I would do anything for you, but I
can't... You don't know what would happen if I did. My dad would kill me!
Boy: *Sad* It's okay.. I understand, I guess..
Girl: *Thinking*I can't believe what's going on.
Boy: I need to give you something tonite, because I am leaving on
flight 1-80 in the morning, so I need to see you now.
Girl: Okay, I will sneak out & meet you at the park.
Boy: Okay, I'll meet you there in 20 minutes.
[They meet at a nearby park, they both hug eachother. And he gives
her a note.]
Boy: Here you go, this is for you. I gotta go.
Girl: *Tear* (Begins to cry.)
Boy: Baby, dont cry, you know I love you... But I have to go.
Girl: Okay (Begins to walk away.)
[They both go back home. And Erica begins to read the letter he gave her]
It says...
"Erica,
You probably already know that I'm leaving, I knew this would be better if I wrote a letter explaining the truth about how much I care about you. The truth is, is that I never loved you, I hated you so much, you are my bitch and dont you ever forget that. I never cared about you, and never wanted to talk to you, and be around you. You really have no clue how much I hate you. Now that I'm leaving I thought you should know that I hate you, bitch. You never did the right thing, and you were never there. I didnt think I could hate someone as much as I hate you. And I never want to see you, for the rest of my life, I will never miss kissing you like before, I never want to cuddle up, how we used to. I will not miss you and that's a promise. You never had my love, and I want you to remember that. Bitch, you keep this letter because this may be the last thing you have from me. Fuck, I hate you so much. I will not talk to you soon bitch... Goodbye.
- Ricardo"
[ Erica begins to cry, she throws the paper in tha garbage & crys for hours ]
... A day passes, she is sad, depressed and she feels so lonely... Then she gets a phone call....
Friend: How are you feeling?
Girl: I just cant believe this happened.. I thought he loved me.
Friend: Oh, about that. Ricardo left me a message. A few days ago. He told me to tell you to look in your jacket pocket or something...
Girl: Umm.. okay.
[She finds a piece of paper in the jacket,
It says:
"Baby I hope you find this before you read my letter. I knew your dad might read it, so I switched a few words...
Hate = Love
Never = Always
Bitch = Baby
Will not= will
.... I hope you didn't take that seriously because I love you with all my heart, and it was so hard to let you go thats why I wanted you to run away with me... -Ricardo"]
Girl: Oh my God! It's a letter.. Ricardo does love me!!, he must of slipped it into my pocket when he hugged me. I can't believe how stupid I am!!
Friend: lol Okay but I g2g... Call me later.
Girl: *happy*okay, bye, I'll be at home waiting for my baby to call me!
... Erica turns the T.V. on......
[Breaking news] "An airplane has crashed. Over 47 young boys died, we are still searching for survivors... This is a tragedy we will never forget, this plane was flight 1-80... it was on its way to an all boys boarding school..." the Reporter says.
[ She turns off the t.v. ... 3 days later, she kills herself, because of the fact that Ricardo was dead & she had nothing to live for... ]
... A day after that the phone rings. Nobody answers. It was Ricardo, he called to leave a message. "Its Ricardo, I guess you're not home so, I called to let you know that I'm alive, I missed my flight because I had to see you one last time. So, I hope your not worried. I am staying for good.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
是每一句对不起，都能换来一句没关系
男孩和女孩从小就认识，男孩经常约女孩一起去村外的池塘边捉小虾，每次男孩总是满载而归，女孩却是两手空空，女孩总是失落的含着眼泪，独自一个人回到家，然后闷闷不乐。晚饭前，男孩敲响女孩家的门，女孩一见是男孩，扭头就走，男孩追上前，对女孩说：“对不起，我把你的虾都捉走了，给，我把它们养在小鱼缸里，送给你。”女孩眉头一放，慧心的笑了，就这样反复着他们纯纯的童年，转眼，他们各自成长着。
——纯纯的“对不起” 。
男孩总是喜欢戏弄女孩，经常会把女孩逗到哭，然后又去哄女孩到她笑为止，直到长大后，也是如此。 男孩经常偷偷的把女孩的自行车轮胎的气放到没有，然后躲在远处，看女孩着急的走投无路，等着女孩拨通他的手机，然后破口大骂他的小贼行为。可男孩，依旧那么喜欢这样的女孩。他窃窃的从远处走来，灰溜溜的为女孩推着那辆没了气的自行车，任由女孩在一旁发牢骚，男孩却暗自窃喜，然后委屈的对女孩说：“对不起，我知道错了。”随即，女孩便会柔弱下来，告诉男孩下次不允许那样，男孩点头，于是，那时的他们每天都充满着笑容。
—— “对不起”的快乐 。
大学毕业后，男孩和女孩各自有了工作，男孩的工作总是很忙，有时一个月都休息不到一次，而女孩总是抱怨男孩冷落了她，终于，他们有了第一次的吵架。女孩委屈的哭起来，可男孩却很理直气壮的告诉女孩：“这是为了我的工作。”这场冷战持续了很久。终于，女孩还是忍不住，主动和男孩和好了。后来很多次男孩和女孩都因为这样的小事而吵得不可开交，可每次，都是女孩先妥协。 那年，女孩生日，男孩答应女孩要给他过一个浪漫的生日，女孩欣喜不已，她在家精心打扮，等着男孩回来陪她渡过这个美妙的生日，这一等就是凌晨，女孩在睡梦中醒来，脸上挂着泪痕，男孩见到女孩，心疼的为女孩擦去脸庞的泪痕：“对不起，嫁给我好吗？”于是男孩拿出一枚戒指。
—— “对不起”也是一种承诺。
婚后，男孩的事业大有成就，经常有许多应酬，而女孩已经成为一个专职太太了，每天在家为男孩准备热菜热饭，把家里收拾的干干净净，她经常会去菜场买回一些小河虾放在鱼缸里养着，男孩总问他为什么，女孩却总是慧心的一笑。 慢慢的，男孩每次回家，身上总是充满了不同的香水味道，而每次没等女孩问，男孩总是忙着解释说应酬太多。女孩黯然，那时起，女孩不太爱说话了，也不像以前那么开朗了，她总是喜欢成天的呆在家里，抱着枕头看韩剧，然后随着剧情哭泣，夜深时，就会疯狂的大哭。以后的日子里，男孩回来时，身上的香水味只有一种味道了，女孩从来不问，可是男孩依旧说：“对不起，今天又去应酬了。”
—— “对不起”，谎言的开始。
渐渐的，男孩开始不回家，或总是在外出差，男孩的事业越来越好，身边都是奉承的人，他每天都在别人的恭维下自豪的笑着，而女孩，几乎不出门了，她总会去超市买上很多方便面，和一些必要的日用品，然后把自己关在家里，这一呆就是很久。从前，女孩会经常和男孩一起聊聊天，而现在，她孤身一人，身边没有一个可以说话的人，每次打电话问男孩什么时候回家，男孩总是仓促的回答到：“对不起，我太忙了。”女孩，失落的扣上电话，那以后她再也没有问男孩什么时候会回家。
—— “对不起”，只是个敷衍的方式。
女孩学着电视上的样子，开始打扮自己，她觉得男孩不回家，也许是看腻了她，她决定不再颓废，自己的幸福应该靠自己争取，而不是无谓的后退。 那天，女孩心血来潮，按照地址去了男孩工作的地方，那是女孩第一次去，也是唯一的一次。女孩涩涩的按下电梯，来到这个男孩经常说忙的地方，她细细的观察这个公司的每个角落，这里的一切，她都觉得很好看。终于，绕过长长的办公走廊，她来到男孩的办公室，轻轻的推开门……女孩愣住了，眼前看到的不是自己的丈夫，也不是那个经常弄坏她自行车的那个贼小子，更不是那个把虾放在小鱼缸里的男孩，而是一个正在和别的女人做爱的男人。那个女人坐在桌子上，******的发出微弱的呻吟声，那个男人，仿佛山林里饿极了的野兽…… 许久，男孩才发现了女孩，男孩惊慌失措，忙把衣裤捡起来穿好。可女孩，转身离开了。男孩飞奔出去，追着女孩，那晚，大雨袭击了整个城市。女孩不顾男孩的叫喊，径直往前跑，往回家的方向跑，男孩在女孩后面大喊：“对不起，我还是爱你的，对不起，我真的只爱你。”可女孩，始终没有听见。
—— 这样的“对不起”太伤人。
男孩一直都没有找到女孩，女孩失踪很久了。男孩的世界已经一片黑暗，无心工作，无心花天酒地，他想不到女孩可以去哪里，因为女孩没有朋友，她唯一的朋友就是男孩，男孩终日守着电话机，手机24小时不关机，怕错过了女孩的电话。这一等就是半年多。 快递为男孩送来一个盒子。 男孩打开一看，里面是许多河虾的标本，有的在树叶边休息，有的在水草里躲着，各式各样的河虾标本，旁边放着一封信。 “ 我始终没有勇气再见到你，可能是我太懦弱，也或许是我根本不想见到你，我想这些『警告：注意文明用语！』应该过的没什么两样吧，我很好，我学会了离开你怎么让自己存活，我懂得了怎样赚钱养活自己，而不用每天等着你回家，为你烧一桌热腾腾的饭菜，直到凉了也不见你的人，我的手机已经不用了，因为我已经不会再为你24小时的不关机，让自己饱受辐射的折磨。我懂得怎样去爱惜自己，珍惜自己的本来应该美好的生活。我想，我是可以忘记怎么去爱你的，因为你把我的爱弄得遍地麟伤。 离婚协议书，就压在鱼缸的底下，你签完字，按照地址给我寄过来就行了。 对不起，我想我是真的累了。” 男孩按照地址找去，他满心希望能够见到女孩，然后让女孩原谅，并且告诉女孩自己不能没有她，可是打开门的却是女孩的父亲，而女孩就站在她父亲的身后——是女孩的遗像。 女孩的父亲告诉男孩，女孩在写完这封信后，跳楼自杀了，血肉一片模糊。
—— 原来“对不起”也可以是种结束。
那一年，男孩疯了。每个人在自己的生命里头，一定会遇到一个自己真正该珍惜的人。请你好好的珍惜那一个人，不是每一句的对不起，都可以换来每一句的没关系……千万不要辜负了自己心爱的人，那对谁，都不好……把这个故事传下去，让你的朋友们知道，不要随意地说出对不起......
多陪陪该珍惜的。生命诚可贵，有情价更高。感恩
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Grudge Within Husband n Wife
Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking
Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with
us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother
endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see
him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a
great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to
bring hubby to where he is today. I immediately agreed and started packing
the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the
sunshine and plant greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly
just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to
put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized
and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling
that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his
pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he
would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender
and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.
Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For
example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she
could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people
spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!"
I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also
become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby
smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to
it."
Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever came
home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she
would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home
with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how
much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more
upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little
fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."
There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.
Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast.
In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the
breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds
before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her
chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.
As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from
along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that
additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf
ear to all the protest mother makes. From time to time, mother would help
out with some housework, but soon her help created additional
work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags
accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our
house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish
washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt
her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.
One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and
"Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby
was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me
for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting
cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him: "What did I
do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her
once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however
unclean it is, right?" After that incident, for a long period of time,
mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward
feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was
caught in dilemma as to who to please.
In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on
the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At
the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his
breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to
perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation,
I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That
night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it
because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not
to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears
as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed:
"LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no
choice but to return to the breakfast table.
The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a
sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my
throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw
down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out. Just
as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly
in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me
with fire burning in his eyes.. I opened my mouth but no
words came out of it, I really did not mean it.
We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then
stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final
stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days,
hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since
mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what
else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to
throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the
events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life.
Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a
doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.
Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of
sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and
mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of
this being the reason that day? At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby
standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had
wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I
couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally
found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he
has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I
told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I
have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am
having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles
of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears
started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test
of one fight?
Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted
look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night,
sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I
saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I
stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and
some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for
good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave
a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again. The next day, I
did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with
hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird
look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the
hospital."
I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found
hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face
was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I
couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen?
Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only
the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief
facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left
the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop,
apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the
countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she
tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...I finally
understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that
morning, if we had not quarreled, if....In his heart, I am indirectly the
killer of his mother.
Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong
liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and
could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are
going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his
eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I
had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding
though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.
Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby
came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were
living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the
dead knot in his heart.
One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window,
I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly
brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering
from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my
hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say
to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks
at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and
stopped her. He stared back at me,challenging me. I can only hear my slow
heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually
backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with
the baby inside me.
That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to
indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other.
He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home
from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned
to take some of his stuff. I no longer wish to call him; the initial
desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my
medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a
guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office
colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I
will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of
repaying mother for causing her death. One day, I came home and I saw
hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with
cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I
know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months
plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within
myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I
will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine.
As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you
cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out
from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my
bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the
paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name
on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?" Since
mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not
control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes,
but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing
each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my
heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could
never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to
me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In
the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes,
I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's
heart. For me, it's unintentional; for
him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of
reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and
could not repeated.
Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth
to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he
buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to
him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love
had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the
bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had
no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can
hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick;
last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will
surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and
laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned
because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's
groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.
Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products,
children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it
stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this
to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no
choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on
his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none
of that matters to me anymore. It was sometime towards the end of spring
in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden
stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change
and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran
down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept
wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once
we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery
suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed
my mind: In my lifetime, who else would
love me as much as he did?
He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes
caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out
of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy
and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at
me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I
cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired
eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but
the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at
that moment. Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver
cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he
managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he
had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me
saying: "Prepare for his funeral."
I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room
and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hitsme. Hubby's cancer
was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought
that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:
"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you
before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you
will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany
you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer
has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible
difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you
meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion....
Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have
accompanied you through life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy.
Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most
and also the one who loves me most..." From play school to primary school,
to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of
love, everything big and small was written there.
Hubby has also written a letter for me:
"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I
have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want
to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby...My
dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile,
thank you for loving me...These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to
our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every
year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... "
Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over
and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our
son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open
his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily
waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the
sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my
face.... A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in
this world is gone forever..."Cruel misunderstandings one after another
disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our originals intend of
having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years
with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a
price, every thing became too late."........
This is a true story.
LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!!!
I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my eyes as I read
through each line eager to know what would happen next. It truly showed
the devastating power of grudges and anger! Simple humility and
communication would have resolved most of the problems in that story, as
well as patience.... This story has really touched my heart and life as a
whole and it has stimulated a paradigm shift. Though it is very sad, it is
also very refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to
live a life free of grudge. People please let's live a life devoid of
grudge. Communication is key.
Take greatest care and live on.
Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with
us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother
endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see
him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a
great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to
bring hubby to where he is today. I immediately agreed and started packing
the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the
sunshine and plant greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly
just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to
put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized
and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling
that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his
pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he
would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender
and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.
Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For
example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she
could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people
spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!"
I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also
become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby
smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to
it."
Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever came
home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she
would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home
with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how
much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more
upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little
fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."
There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.
Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast.
In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the
breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds
before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her
chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.
As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from
along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that
additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf
ear to all the protest mother makes. From time to time, mother would help
out with some housework, but soon her help created additional
work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags
accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our
house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish
washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt
her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.
One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and
"Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby
was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me
for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting
cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him: "What did I
do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her
once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however
unclean it is, right?" After that incident, for a long period of time,
mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward
feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was
caught in dilemma as to who to please.
In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on
the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At
the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his
breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to
perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation,
I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work. That
night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it
because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not
to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears
as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed:
"LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no
choice but to return to the breakfast table.
The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a
sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my
throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw
down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out. Just
as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly
in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me
with fire burning in his eyes.. I opened my mouth but no
words came out of it, I really did not mean it.
We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then
stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final
stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days,
hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since
mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what
else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to
throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the
events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life.
Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a
doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.
Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of
sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and
mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of
this being the reason that day? At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby
standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had
wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I
couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally
found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he
has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I
told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I
have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am
having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles
of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears
started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test
of one fight?
Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted
look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket. That night,
sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I
saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I
stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and
some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for
good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave
a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again. The next day, I
did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with
hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird
look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the
hospital."
I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found
hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face
was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I
couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen?
Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only
the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief
facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left
the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop,
apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the
countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she
tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...I finally
understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that
morning, if we had not quarreled, if....In his heart, I am indirectly the
killer of his mother.
Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong
liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and
could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are
going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his
eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I
had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding
though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.
Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby
came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were
living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the
dead knot in his heart.
One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window,
I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly
brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering
from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my
hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say
to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks
at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and
stopped her. He stared back at me,challenging me. I can only hear my slow
heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually
backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with
the baby inside me.
That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to
indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other.
He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home
from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned
to take some of his stuff. I no longer wish to call him; the initial
desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my
medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a
guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office
colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I
will not.. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of
repaying mother for causing her death. One day, I came home and I saw
hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with
cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I
know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months
plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within
myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I
will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine.
As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you
cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out
from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my
bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the
paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name
on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?" Since
mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not
control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes,
but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing
each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my
heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could
never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to
me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't. In
the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes,
I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's
heart. For me, it's unintentional; for
him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of
reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and
could not repeated.
Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth
to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he
buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to
him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love
had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the
bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had
no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can
hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick;
last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will
surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and
laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned
because there was love, but now, what is there between us? Hubby's
groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.
Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products,
children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it
stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this
to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no
choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on
his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none
of that matters to me anymore. It was sometime towards the end of spring
in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden
stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change
and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran
down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept
wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once
we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery
suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed
my mind: In my lifetime, who else would
love me as much as he did?
He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes
caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out
of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy
and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at
me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I
cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired
eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but
the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at
that moment. Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver
cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he
managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he
had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me
saying: "Prepare for his funeral."
I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room
and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hitsme. Hubby's cancer
was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought
that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:
"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you
before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you
will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany
you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer
has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible
difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you
meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion....
Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have
accompanied you through life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy.
Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most
and also the one who loves me most..." From play school to primary school,
to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of
love, everything big and small was written there.
Hubby has also written a letter for me:
"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I
have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want
to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby...My
dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile,
thank you for loving me...These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to
our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every
year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging... "
Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over
and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our
son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open
his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily
waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the
sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my
face.... A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in
this world is gone forever..."Cruel misunderstandings one after another
disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our originals intend of
having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years
with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a
price, every thing became too late."........
This is a true story.
LEARNING POINT - DO NOT EVER HOLD ON TO OFFENCES!!!
I am totally speechless, this story brought tears to my eyes as I read
through each line eager to know what would happen next. It truly showed
the devastating power of grudges and anger! Simple humility and
communication would have resolved most of the problems in that story, as
well as patience.... This story has really touched my heart and life as a
whole and it has stimulated a paradigm shift. Though it is very sad, it is
also very refreshing to know that from today, I can consciously start to
live a life free of grudge. People please let's live a life devoid of
grudge. Communication is key.
Take greatest care and live on.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
表白爱情的二十个经典案例
一、无字情书
那种暗示的方法曾经风行于80年代，可是当时我就偏偏不懂。一天，我收到了一封莫名其妙的来信，邮票倒着贴在上面。我认出了信封上他的字迹，可是信封里却是空空如也。也许是因为未收到回音，他终于忍不住来找我，捧来一摞厚厚的白纸，“这回你就不必借口没有稿纸而不回信了。”
二、爱屋及乌
我是先认识它，然后才认识她的。她经常在晚上带着那只小狗来公园散步，再以后我和它成了好朋友，接着我和她也成了好朋友。一天我们坐在长椅上休息的时候，我拍拍小狗，对它说；“告诉你的主人，你还需要一位男主人照顾。”
三、占卜
我最喜欢用扑克牌给别人算命，因此找我来求福求财的朋友无数，可是我偏偏不给她算，只是告诉她；“你的命运是天定的。”自然她不是很满意。后来我又告诉她：“我的命运也是天定的，咱们有缘。”结果她不相信天命，却同意我的预言。
四、执手相看
其实我并不懂五行之术，却装出江湖术士的样子，抓起她的手，“我来给你看相。”并信口胡说一番。然后又伸出我的手给她看，“请注意我的掌纹和你自己的掌纹。”说着煞有介事地将我的掌心和她的贴在一起。“知道这叫什么吗？”我故作深沉，紧接着说，“这叫心心相印。”
五、谁比谁笨
她总是说我笨，因为跳舞时我总是踩她的脚。可是我觉得她比我笨，吃饭比跳舞容易多了，可是她却不断地在桌子底下踩我的脚。 现在一想，还是我笨。
六、借椟还珠
小说里男女主人公的相爱经常是从借书开始的，没想到我也碰到了，每次找我他都会借书，然后保存得很小心地还给我。后来他在书里夹了张纸条，“我喜欢你”。
七、大打出手
她被称作“女侠”，原因是她身边的男士无不遭受过她的皮肉之苦。惟有我例外，她对我客客气气，言听计从。后来人们不再称她作“女侠”，原因是她对身边的男士突然变得客气起来。惟有我例外，时常受到她的“独”打。
八、替身情侣
她对我挺好的，但女孩的心思很难猜，总有点若即若离的感觉。后来，我特意找了个老同学陪我散步，当然也是个女孩子，当她出现的时候，我们还装作很亲密的 样子。她果然信以为真，泪水差点流出来，转身就跑。我马上追过去，拉住她说：“你别生气，我是试你的，现在我知道了，我是喜欢你才这样做的。”她破涕为 笑。我们的拍拖就是这样开始的。
九、照片的作用
我在大二的时候就喜欢上她了，但我不知道她是否有和我相同的感觉。于是，我翻拍并放大了一张她的照片，放在自己的桌子上。她来玩的时候，我把她让到桌前坐 下，然后借故洗苹果出去。她在翻看桌上的书刊时，自然看到了下面自己的照片，她很吃惊，但其实很高兴，我看得出来的。这时我就凑过去道歉说：“不好意思。 我喜欢就这么做了，如你不高兴，我马上撤掉好了。”她却慌忙说：“别，别，挺好的，其实我家里有更好的，明天我拿给你呀！”这时候，我对自己的感觉确信无疑了。
十、距离与爱
交往挺长时间了，但由于双方都没说过一个爱字，我对和他的关系心里没底。有一天我俩出去吃饭，以前都是对着坐的，那次我特意坐在了他的身边。一个微妙的 变化，却拉近了双方的距离，他对我的心意自然是很清楚的。那天他特别兴奋，话也极多，距离的拉近似乎增加了他的勇气，他的手也爬到了我的肩膀上，凑过脸来 说悄悄话，我则顺势把头埋到他的怀里。我们的爱情能走到今天，真得感谢距离的改变。
十一、跌倒有学问
有一次在公园里散步，我想试一下和他感情的进展程度，便哎哟一声做出要跌倒的样子，他自然本能地把我抱住。我便捶着他的胸膛撒娇地说：“你坏，你坏！”他却抱得更紧了，说：“还有更坏的呢。”这是他第一次吻我，感情自然又进了一步，我也就放心了。
十二、步步紧逼
“有女孩请我看电影。”我说，她很紧张，眼巴巴地等下文。我于是话锋一转：“但我谢绝了。”她微笑一下，很放松。我便乘胜追击：“我只想和你去看。”结果，那天我们便牵着手去了。
十三、送我一程
他每天都站在公司的门口，看我骑车走了，他才离去。几乎风雨无误。但他每次都把我瞟得心慌意乱了，却死不开口，是个胆小鬼！后来我忍不住了，上去说：“送我一程，好吗？”他忙不迭地答应了，连兴奋都掩饰不住。
十四、借书的学问
她经常来我这儿借书，有意思的是明明借过的书了，仍像新书似的借走了，还很感兴趣地问我书怎么样。后来我问她：“怎么借书也不会借？一本书借了好几次。”她却振振有词地说：“我是故意的，要不你还真以为我喜欢你的书呀！”
十五、花语
十六、美食其意
其实她根本不懂烹饪，却跟我大谈各种美味，并且口口声声要亲自下厨给我做。结果她做了一盘烧糊的炸牛排，没能征服我的胃口，却打动了我的心。
十七、浪漫之举
人家都说搞艺术的人最浪漫，可他整天除了画画还是画画，让我怀疑自己是不是自作多情。他用一幅画打消了我的疑虑：美丽的大漠长烟，夕阳山外山，他牵着我的手共赴旅途。
十八、类比
一天晚上我在她家聊天，谈着谈着，她忽然不言语了。然后盯着我，她笑着说：“你说话的腔调，跟我爸对我妈说话一样。”我不禁怦然心动。
十九、虚惊
说来惭愧，那层窗户纸还是她捅破的。我们一块吃晚饭，她破例端起了酒杯。酒过三巡，她向我透露：“有个男人追我。”我马上急了，“千万要三思而后行，可别饥不择食。”“人家挺优秀的。”我更急了，“难道你就没注意到，在你眼前晃来晃去的这个男人都优秀？”她笑了：“那个男人就是你。”
二十、“和你一样的”
有一次她问我：“将来找一个什么样的女朋友？”我知道她在试验我，便回答说：“和你一样高的，和你一样重的，嘴巴和你一样小的，脸和你一样圆的。”她打 断我：“这样的有几个呀？”“有一个就够了，我只爱着你，相信我！”说到这时，便可以挑明了。她虽然嘴里埋怨我贫嘴，但那天她笑得却最开心，她以为终于诱 出我的心里话，其实我何尝不是这么想的。 v
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